Suffocation of Thoughts

Difficult to breath.
Difficult to think.
Feels like I’m suffocating.
Feels like I’m dying.
She doesn’t realize it.
She doesn’t know it.
My laugh masks my gasping for air.
My laugh hides the pain.
A slight smile stretches across her face.
A slight giggle escapes her mouth.
It entraps me.
It strangles me.
Thinking I could drown my sorrows.
Thinking I could drown the memories.
Not likely.
Not possible.
They float to the surface.
They race through my mind.
Memories left broken.
Words left unspoken.
I can’t possibly say.
I can’t possibly understand.
If only.
If only.
The words cannot escape.
But the words cannot stay.
I have to release.
I have to break free.
But the shackles weigh me down.
The shackles drag me under.
One last breath.
One last word.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Left with no thoughts.
Left with no air.
Memories left broken.
Words left unspoken.
It’s over.
It’s done.